Are we Resilient yet Complacent most of the time?
2020 has been a year which most of us will not forget in our
lives ... with other lessons, this lockdown has given me much needed time to reflect. My
biggest reflection has been that we human beings despite caste, color, gender, social strata have one thing in
common, we are highly resilient. We can adopt or change to any circumstances specially
if there is a stimuli affecting our situations.
Research has proven over a period of time if the stimuli is
negative, it gets the best out of us but if the stimuli is positive, it gets
us in our comfort zones. I for sure, will neither get into science of it,
nor am I a psychology student but my observations are purely based on how
I see people around me react and then I build, research and hypothesis around
it.
When the worst hits we have the inherent power to make,
adapt changes and live with changes... when the survival of self n our loved
ones is at question we alter ourselves, habits and often change the course of
action immediately. Which gets me to a fundamental question...why and how do we
do it in such situations?
All of us have heard age old saying we were taught in our
schools while explaining Food Chain - Survival of the fittest. In
negative or threatening situations, we tend outperform our normal selves to
be the fittest to survive those circumstances. Fundamentally as living beings
we have an inherent survival instinct. When the going gets tough our most
hidden strengths come to action as we need to move out of the situation. A
direct corollary one can draw is like we save money for a rainy day, we save
our best strengths for a difficult times it seems.
There seems to be two fundamental reasons for this behaviour:
1) Fear
Psychosis : About 6 years back, health was not a priority for me
and I used to take my body as granted, no exercise no controlled diet... one
fine day I was rendered on a complete bed rest for 3 weeks as my lower back and
knees were giving away and I could not even climb 5 stairs (being a workaholic,
to be on bed and dependent on
others for my basic needs scared me to death) and before I could realize I was
at the physiotherapist, started my exercises, changed my routine and am
regular at that till now. All it took me to make that change was my doctor’s
advise of 3 weeks complete rest. On a retrospective, I always knew exercising
was so important, I wonder how the casualness in me took over to avoid my
health for years at a stretch.
If one is scared of an upcoming or present circumstances,
the challenging situations bring in enough shivers for us to activate a new option
for survival. Hence, we create work harder to get the best out of us, be it
performance if it is exam or job, if it is financial, we make the most
intelligence budget ever, if it is health, we try to find the best remedy. Resilience
leads us to survival mode.
2) Removal of optionality: Till about
2019, many us including me thought if many of the team members will be working
from home or if schools, colleges taught online, the results won’t be
satisfactory. With option of moving out of home being removed, most of the
organised sector across the globe is now working from home and is well sustaining
itself. I am sure, in an extreme scenario if this continues for long, we all
might get used to this as a new normal and find efficiencies in this too.
I have had many acquaintances who were so
used to eating outside home and are now content eating at home and rather
posting pictures of what they are cooking on social media platform. What
happened here?
We did not suddenly find a new technology for
work remotely or suddenly find that home cooked food can taste and look same,
if not better and healthier than restaurant food. All what happened was optionality
was removed. The resilience in us, took charge and made us adjusted to new
circumstances.
If the above two fundamental
points are correct and we all are in fact resilient than why are we all
not performing in our best all the time or why are most of us
complacent for major portion of life and wait for more often than not an
external stimuli to invoke the best out of us . There could be multiple reasons
to that,
a) One is too happy with their
limited sphere of life
b) There are no extremities in
mediocracy and life can be more predictable
c) Moving away from normal orbit
requires too much effort and not sure of the return on effort
d) Most of the people around us
are in the same boat and people who excel are a different class altogether
e) We have too many distractions
and comfort zones around us, social media, TV, netflix, internet, family
obligations
f)
Unless it is forced on us, there is no case for change
The list is just endless. Have we
not all experienced or heard above excuses or getaways for ourselves and
others around us.
So, what makes this entire
journey of mediocre to excellence is lot of inherent zeal and a self belief.
Challenging one self with new situations, new things regularly, consciously
removing optionality from one's life requires lot of effort but yields
differential outcomes. Life of all successful leaders and lessons convey the
same message.
My two biggest motivating sentences to myself have
been
(1)
I have the power: If it takes an external
stimulus to change me, then I was powerless till the time this stimulus hit me
but I have the power not something/one else.
(Anecdote : When I was young, the only cartoon show closer to Avengers
those days was "He-Man and like he used to take out the sword and
say I have the power", it felt Macho to me ... so there are times quiet
often that I say now : I have the Power - and hence no external force
changes me but me myself)
(2)
If you wish for something with great intensity,
the entire universe conspires in helping you to achieve it : If I stay focussed
on my goal and work towards it, the circumstances shall eventually change for
helping me to achieve it. My simple task is not to be complacent about my goal.
(Anecdote
: Though this was written by Paulo Coelho in his famous book , Alchemist . But
my favourite movie star SRK, quoted it in his movie and hence inspiring to
me)
While my motivations might sound little silly and inspired from movies but inspirations can
come from any corner and make you more resilient and less complacent, in my case it did for sure.
May the force be with you and stay safe !
