The Wanderer

As a famous poet said

मंजिल मिल ही जायेगी एक दिन, भटकते-भटकते ही सही ।
गुमराह तो वो है,जो घर से निकले ही नहीं…

One will find their destination one day, even if by wandering array

Lost are those, who don’t step out of their home for fear of dismay

Earlier this year as lockdowns eased and I had my bout of Covid in first week January and got my Covid shots. With immunity developed in my body or so I thought, the wanderer in me let loose and I had to be on the road.

As I carried on my wanderings, a combination of long and short weekends, work travels, balancing  my work and family commitments, I went from far flung areas in India to a new country, it has been a fulfilling experience. Thanks to good telecom connectivity, I could manage many a things, long solo driving, road trips with friends, trekking, kayaking, hill stations, deserts, old and new cities, spiritual destinations, food tours etc. Though the range of places visited varied drastically, there were some common themes across, which were my learnings from the travel.

1)      Friends make the achievement and its celebration more enjoyable: A trek to Triund over a weekend through a beautiful town called Dharamshala. For reasons unknown to all of us, we took the difficult path to the Summit with almost 90 degree climb and for which most of us were underprepared. Heavy rain half way through, made us take shelter in this small tuck shop, sitting on on food containers and shivering in cold as we gobbled many plates of maggi, many cups of tea and bread butter prepared lovingly by young shop owner Bablu. 90 minutes went by in all the eating and chatting away the fun stories of the trek with him. Reaching the top and staying overnight in a small makeshift tuck shop, we were blessed to see million of stars and constellations. I can still close my eyes and imagine those diamonds like stars, true to the childhood poem shining so bright.

But the best part of the trek was yet to come post our climb down was a sumptuous brunch at a café in the winter afternoon sun, we had best of wood fired pizza, pasta, kebabs, kalamari, nachos, beer, tea, coffee, tiramisu and multiple rounds of it. Hours of non stop eating and laughter, I am sure we consumed more calories in this luxurious lunch than the ones we spent on the trek. I wish we could capture the feeling and fun in pictures celebration of this trek and laughter reminded me of the college days

 

2)      Childhood memories are fun to revisit : Very closely related was another trip, this time an official one and we were a group of colleagues visiting Shimla, another hill station. One of our colleagues had spent his childhood in Shimla and the love with which he took all of us around the Mall road, best bakery shops, best restuarants, his school, monkey menace, fond memories of crossing his old home and how he used to have fun with his friends and family, tasting each and every savoury he loved in his childhood, I could see him reliving all his memories in those when he was explaining the city to us. The happiness for him knew no bounds and thanks to him we could see the best of the place through his eyes.  

We all can grow up to do big things in life, achieve big goals but the child in us always remains and is as innocent as it always was  

3)      Life with limited variables is happy, peaceful and healthy :  Another trip to a small quiet village called Chitkul at a height of about 14,000 feet simply stole my heart. A village with about 100 houses, limited vegetation, a small water stream, limited electricity (now solar electricity is generated) but amongst all of this I was amazed to see people having such a satisfaction on their face despite limited means and what we call in urban areas as limited perspective. The homestay where we were staying was run by young people who would close the kitchen at 8 in night, difficult to city dwellers like us. In the morning, as we were roaming around in the village near the monastery, we met an old lady of 92 years sitting in the small window of her wooden house. As we started talking to her, she jumped out of the window with so swiftly that we were amazed, she had not moved out of the village for last 65 years but was quiet happy with her life with limited variables. She was for sure not having any FOMO and jokingly asked is what are we doing in her village and if we don’t have any work to do other than coming to these remote places.

I wonder if the life there is happy, peaceful and healthy  with limited options and variables

 

4)      Honesty still prevails despite commercialisation at its peak : We had two unique experiences in these trips

One of the friends left his Ipad in the train when we deboarded it and remembered it only after 2 hours or so. As we headed back to railway station in our faint attempt to recover it, we were not sure if we are going to get it but the railway police had the possession of it and gave it us rightfully after few checks. We were all surprised and pleasantly so to experience this when most of us in the group had lost hope of getting it back.

On the same trip, one of the friends left his phone in a quaint tea shop in a remote village and the villagers were nice to give it back when we went to take it. They even refused or should I say got angry when we tried to tip them.

Instances like this for sure reinstates faith in honesty, humanity and simplicity of life.

5)      Nature and spirituality display their true essence when they are in their true form  Going to far flung desert areas, higher up in himalayan alititudes to historical places in Gujarat, I felt one thing in common when spiritual and natural places are untouched they send us more subtle messages.

An old buddhist monastery in Tabo, had fresco paintings of Buddha which was almost 1000 year old, yet it gave such peaceful vibes though one is not allowed to click pictures or even throw torch light on it. Likewise an hundreds of year old temple in Gujarat in a quaint village was so peaceful with limited human intervention there. Just sitting in these places, takes one to a peaceful zone.

There were no pictures allowed in most of these places, they were devoid of commercialisation, very less visited, limited people around. Possibly, when human mind stops apply logic is the point from where consciousness takes it play and hence makes these places so peaceful

 

6)      Faith is your best and only co passenger in life – Through these travels, few of them with group and others solo, where I didn’t know the terrain, literally and philosophically, the constant companion with me was Faith or call it Trust. A trust that there are paths (read driveable roads!) laid out as moved crossed some very dangerous mountain passes, trust that the pilot who is flying the plane is able to manevour through the choppy weather when the predictions were not strong, a trust on one’s own ability or the group camaraderie that if we get stuck or one of us falls sick, we will be able to manage together and above all a Faith that someone somewhere has designed a path and journey for you and all you need to do is to start walking

 While there were many more instances and learnings, I just felt to pen these key ones in this blog.

 In this journey of life, I hope my learnings continue and hence the wanderings continue !

Oh, it paused !

 

 When I was a teenager, video cassette players were the newest gadget and it got cinema halls to our drawing rooms, a new technology made us crazy kids, watching 3 to 4 movies in a night, forwarding unwarranted scenes or songs, the poor cassette player would run non stop. One of these movies nights, it paused after just two movies and we could not fast forward it. The technician said, it got heated up by non-stop usage and has to be ‘cooled down’ for some time before we could restart it. Now, of course, the technology has changed and we can watch tv for hours.

Years later, I keep on remembering this through a series of incidents, where a simple pause button could help us.

Scene 1 : An annual business performance review meeting .Business graphs going northwards and aspirations to go higher and bolder. It was all applauds and nothing could have gone wrong. The meeting co-chair was all excited and passionate to grow the business. Of course, she was working long hours virtually everyday and didn't feel the need to say no even if her plate was full. This ‘can do attitude’ was the medal she was proud of.

Right after the lunch break, she started palpitating, felt breathless and within minutes rushed to a nearby hospital. Though the vitals came out to be okay, doctors said she was overworked, was advised to take some rest and ‘switch off’ from work for sometime. In a nutshell, she was asked to ‘Pause’ before she picks up again…Poor girl she didn't knew if that was a word in her dictionary !

Scene 2 : Final exam for the Grade XII, she was a bright student and had studied hard for the subject, pushing all boundaries, burning midnight oil, leaving no stone unturned, she was studying 18-20 hours a day, afterall it was her least liked subject, Mathematics and she had to crack it irrespective. Days before the exams, her anxiousness was so high, she didn't sleep for 3 nights before the exam and was totally tired as she entered the examination hall.

The invigilator handed her the question paper and her mind just went blank, she could not recall even a single theorem or formula. Results came out and she scored barely to pass through the exam, her worst ever performance.  

If she would have given her mind some ‘pause’ in days before the exam and given it the much deserved break, results could be different.

Scene 3 :A remote himalayan destination, serene, nature at its best and barely habituated. Of course, the phone signals are rare and one is virtually and literally cut off from the world. They say, if there is heaven on earth, it is in this place. A young couple is visiting the place to spend time with each other away from city life. The restlessness is visible on both their faces, as they are not able to check office emails and check if their team is on the critical project they left behind and yes, there is a critical project which is in the proposal stage and the wife is worried if it will be assigned to a contemporary instead of her.

After spending a day in utter discomfort with the realisation that network is not working, they realised the best thing is to click pictures and share with family and friends. Alas, that didn’t work too… They were so frustrated in the place because of non-connectivity, the entire vacation was all about finding a 5 minute network on one hilltop or a hotel corner and they could not enjoy it… Was it a guilt of taking a holiday or fear of missing out on action when they were away, but wish they pressed the pause button before they left the work for vacation, they would have enjoyed more. 

As I started connecting these dots, I realized it not just happens with me but with many of us. After all, human body and mind are like machines. It does get heated up and has to be paused to cool down before we start again.

What I learnt after years of frustration and ruffling many feathers in my formative years, I wish we were taught not only importance of excellence but also importance of pausing, many situation could be different. But as they say, ‘Its sunrise when you wake up’. I have my waking up and wish for all of us to have that too.

So now, I don't say  "Oh, it paused".. but I say, it is time to pause, so stop, smile and enjoy the moment.

Human Stories - Kolkata

Two years of pandemic and my life changed from an avid traveller to just shuttling between two ends of the Capital city. With 2022 and lock down easing out, my wanderings have started quicker than before.

Unlike my usual interest on non-metro and less crowded places, this time was one of the most crowded city in India, a city known for its literary depth, a city famous for its temples, a city famous for its food and also a city where income disparity so evident in its everyday life (which big city doesn’t have it anyways) ..this time it had to be City of Joy, Kolkata.
I have always loved exploring cities either by walking or cycling rather than in cabs, considering it was a long weekend and the roads less crowded, walking and exploring bylanes was fun.

Walking through the city does give you a chance to explore, understand the culture but also always helps me to connect dots through people’s behaviour.
Few things have remained common, whichever city I go to :

A) Food habits gives us a sense of belongingness:

Though I am not a foodie, but I had a long list of recommendation of places to eat even before I started planning the trip. A city which is famous for its street food, it was obvious for me to go and try it's Puchkas (sweet and sour water balls) at two different joints on consecutive days. I can write a long tale about their taste but there was a unique thing which struck me this time
Both the joints were well visited and they had one thing in common, in both the places there were large groups of young college students apparently studying out of India and were visiting the city for first time. Amongst these groups, there would be one city-native person who talks local language, Bengali for the shop keeper and English for their friends and was explaining proudly the culture, relating to the street food and telling them how to eat it and enjoy the food. There was a sense of pride for city in their tones. Despite being away from their native place for long, they talking about food of their city gave them a sense of being connected.

I remembered that's how I explain Indian food to my friends and colleagues who come from other countries.
Food, we eat while growing up being the basic human need, does give us a sense of belongingness and is inherent part of who we are. This is the sheer reason that despite having best food available in even the most renowed restrauant, one does crave for home food after few days (ghar ka khana!)

B) Passion and excellence drives customer satisfaction:
There is a college street in Kolkata where you can find millions of books across genres in a sphere of 2 kms, you name it and you can find it, be it history, philosophy, science, religion, fiction, curriculum based or otherwise.

We went there without any particular book in mind but just for the feel of the place and ended up buying multiple books. Now that’s not unique considering the love for books we have, but to my utter surprise I bought the book, ‘Physics for non science people’. I don’t and can’t read science books by the sheer volume of formulas and complicated jargons it has, but the reason, I bought it was the ‘shop keeper, Mr. Das. He was so passionate about his books, he asked our interests and kept on showing us books and discussed with us topics at length. His sheer passion and energy on his face was so evident that he cared less even if we buy it, he kept on narrating stories from this book as if it was a film reel and we ended up taking it, his passion was infectious.

Tea vendor : A tea-lover like me needs to find good tea-joints in any city I go. This one was little one tucked opposite the stock exchange in a corner shop, selling just few items, he has a huge clientele who would just drive by his small shop, you would otherwise ignore but for the long queue of people around the stall. The passion and smile with which he and his team serve the tea and few snacks item with it, makes the shop a case study of management schools in itself. I did notice each and every employee in the shop would engage with customers for a small chit chat, which gave it all a personal touch. Surprisingly, the pricing of a ‘kesar chai’ is almost 5 times I would pay to a tea vendor in Delhi, but he is able to justify it with all the specialty he puts in the tea.

Both these shops are not big, no branding, no advertisement but if I ever visit the city again, I will first head to them for the sheer customer centricity they have.

C) Human resilience is paramount despite all adversities:
Tourism industry though badly hit by Pandemic, I was amazed to see the optimism of the hotel staff
Staying in a luxurious 5 star hotel and talking to hotel manager on the outlook of the business, he said we are giving away many freebies in order to remain in business and sustain livelihood for our employees though cut down by huge numbers. There was a sense of despair as he shared hotel was on low occupancy but they were trying all they could to keep the ship alive. It is difficult to keep the hotel going despite the deep pockets, but there is always a ray of hope, after each pandemic wave of tourism picking up.

 
Right outside the hotel gate is a busy or should I say very busy flea market. There was a young, may be eight year old girl selling flowers which were almost wilting. I was observing her standing at the hotel gate, she tried to sell her flowers to me, unsuccessfully. With noon sun at its peak, she sat down tiringly at one corner and the moment she saw me looking at her, she again rushed to me, asking if I can buy her some food instead.I asked her, what she wanted to eat and there came a big childish smile and a spark in her eyes, Chowmein. Watching her eat chowmein with great satisfaction was a treat for me. The moment she finished her much desired meal, there was an optimism in her eyes, of selling her flowers again and she jumped to the crossing again convincing others.

Optimism for future and resilience, irrespective of rich or poor is a human trait we are borne with and it comes forth more in adversity.

D) We are all equal in eyes of God
As I headed to the most famous temple in the city, Covid and long queues did play in my mind. To my pleasure, it was not crowded and the arrangement was well managed with security guards at the entrance ensuring everyone was wearing a mask and maintaining a distance.

As we stood in the queue, there came a orange robed monk, who was trying to enter the temple without the mask and kept on arguing with the security that it is not needed and he will cover his face with his neck scarf. This monk seemed to be belonging to a big religious society is what I could infer based on the number of disciples with him. But neither the monk nor his disciples could convince the security personnel and finally they had to go and but masks before entering the temple.

I smiled when the security guard told the monk, Covid does not discriminate in monk or common man and I mentally added neither does God !!

As I headed back from Kolkata,it was good food, good shopping and above all a bagful of joyous learnings from the city… till the next wandering !

Soar Higher

 

 

Being part of a culture, where parents are supposed to be treated like God, I have wondered and more often than not resisted the sheer thought of comparing a human being to a Supreme Power, someone who has created this world.

Quiet recently, I got into this argument again within myself. It was a on a bright winter morning in Delhi, after a short tiff with my teenage daughter (call it Ego clash!) I drove to other part of the city. Solo driving is what makes me reflect well. In the silence of car, early in the morning, no music,‘ mind and heart’ both doing what they are best at - arguments on this topic. It could not have been a more relevant time as I had to drop my daughter to hostel the next week, was it my resistance to empty nesting?

Let me put forth my thoughts on that day on few similarities between the Two:

1)    Creator: God created the entire universe or may be multiverses, He created us : Same for parents, they are our creators.

2)    Provider: He provided us, based on his choice with senses, survival instinct, gives us birth in a family, social circle based on our past karma (if one believes in it), nevertheless, we don't have a choice to choose our parents : Same for parents, they provide us with what they think based on best of their ability and thinking. At least, early days we don't have a choice.

3)    Protector: In times of pain or distress, we look up to Him to help us and He helps though at times we can't see it immediately : Same for parents, though at times Both of their method of protecting and caring for us is beyond our comprehension.

4)    Pampering: We pray and ask for 'gifts' from Him, whether we have worked hard or not for it. We ask for it as if it is our right : Same for parents, we ask for many things from them because it's our right. Now, eventually, both of them give it to us or not is totally their prerogative but we expect both to pamper us!

5)    'Why me' questioning: We fight and complain with Him when things don't go our way, God, why me ? : Same for parents, we fight n complain with them why me as compared to other siblings or relatives etc etc.

6)    Teacher: God teaches us the lessons of cause and effect of our actions through 'karma' theory , ‘we reap what we sow’ : Same for parents, they teach us from basic learnings and values required for life. Formal education or academic education is often left to the professionals in both cases.

7)    Taken for granted: We normally take Him for granted many a times, we  don't pray and thank Him at every moment of life but he still takes care of us and does not give us pain more than we can handle. Now, one might say we do these rituals everyday, that's not what really is prayer : Same for parents, we take them for granted many a times, don't we ?

And the list is on and on, and the answer to the question all our parents equal to God is dwindling to one side? 

As these interesting thoughts were going on, I saw a nice tea cafe which broke the chain of my thoughts and I was tempted to go and have a cup of hot tea with my favourite cookie in the winter morning to continue this interesting self-discussion.

2^nd part:

Indeed, parents are a version of God, be it for any living being as they help us come to this world and help us in life stages where we don't have any senses.

But there is a difference that God, since He is the creator kept with Himself as against parents. He created 'Moh' or attachment in hearts of parents which is the cause of many happiness, many attachments, many ego and hence many sufferings as well. God is above 'Moh and Maya ' (attachment and delusion) as He knows this is all ephemeral and will go away. Parents themselves are human so normally get attached to their children and it's difficult to let the child fall and make mistakes and relearn. As parents, letting go of attachment is not easy for most of us.

 But as God is our Parents' parent too, he knows this is all temporary and he let's His creation learn and let go of them and hence is not attached to His own creation. Indeed as they say in Bollywood, God proves it, हम तुम्हारे बाप के भी बाप हैं  (I am your father’s father and hence I have an upper hand!)

 Because in essence, what is 'God'? - The one who creates, who protects, who provides, who teaches, who guides, who is there in good and bad times, with whom we can fight and love, yet who will let go of the attachment so you can be a free person to  act and bear the result on your own because that is Karma.

There are only few parents who understand this and able to detach themselves and see their children, their creation unfurl their wings at its own pace in their own zone.

 So, as I take the last sip of my tea and end such a nice reflective time, I move out of cafe with a smile and take my car towards my destination for the day, I mentally got ready to let my teenage birdie expand her wings, soar higher to follow her own Karmic journey.

This is not to become God myself at all, but to take a next step in my own journey too!

 May we all Soar Higher

 “This one is dedicated to my Parents and my daughter and above all Him!!